A thought,
A whisper,
You speak of unknown things.
You watch,
You see her,
We know of which you sing.
We speak,
We yell,
They hear our voices calling.
They walk,
They fall,
The battles they see coming.
The blood,
The gore,
All for just one woman.
All night,
All for
This raging hate of two men.
This here,
This girl,
Caught between the monsters.
Caught with fear,
Caught with hate,
She’s dying as they fight for her.
She’s hurt,
She’s crying,
The battle keeps on fighting.
They’re dead,
They’re falling,
Struck as though by lightning.
Struck down,
Struck hard,
She falls as her heart breaks.
She drowns,
She starved,
Between the two men’s graves.
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Comments
...yayayay!
That being said:
Were I the one writing it, I would say 'this raging hate of men' as opposed to two, just 'cause it flows better, which is the same reason I would shorten 'caught with hate' to 'with hate,' and remove 'for her.' Also, I would change 'keeps on fighting' to keeps on roaring, or some similar wordswap.
But that's just what I would do, and I am by no means an expert on such things.
I love it.
--
But that was when we followed men and the sky was made of clouds.
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